Perfect in Weakness...

In case any of you were wondering – I’m going insane! I know most of you believed me to have arrived already, but I assure you my state continues to worsen! Talking to myself has been superseded by laughing constantly at my own jokes (I really am hilarious!). My evenings of educational movie watching have degraded to a YouTube obsession (hour after hour of Doctor Who confidential & video diaries mostly!).   Infrequent boredom fits have been known to escalate into hours (days) of spontaneous cleaning and organizing. My once disciplined & focused mind has been replaced with the ADHD mind of a four-year old!

The lack of social engagement (limited to 5 hours a week – all at church) has truly taken its toll! I question whether or not I will ever again be able to function “normally” - least of which includes shaking the British accent which of course is all that’s used around the house (with an occasional switch to Scottish or Yorkshire).

LOTR pic from Adam Cabrera :)

On the positive side my impulsive room cleaning uncovered a few surprises. ‘Tis a wonder what one finds when one organizes her belongings. Don’t get me wrong: I am a VERY organized person with an impeccable memory for where things are; however, that isn’t to say that sometimes some things wind up places I hadn’t intended or little treasures get tucked away for safe keeping and are temporarily erased form time and space. Take for instance this laminated Lord of the Rings collage given to me while in high school by my friend Adam – what a treasure!  Also I found stashed in my “technology” drawer my old thumb drive from college; computerless back then, I relied solely on that little guy – it was my life line (and the key player in a short story written for my students will student teaching). The Northland-green ribbon I used to keep from losing it was still attached and knotted, too.

Perhaps the most treasured discovery of the day, however, was an enlightening scrap of paper I found in my old address book. Many of you may not know this nor even believe me when I tell you, but I was a PAINFULLY shy child once! Answering the telephone, ordering at restaurants, and going anywhere without someone I knew were things I NEVER did without a great deal of pain on my part and persuasion on my mother’s. Seriously, I might as well have been a mute for all of the talking I did as a kid (except when bossing my brother around, of course!). And we won’t even mention the time I hid under the table at Chucky Cheese when the big man (mouse) himself came to wish me a happy birthday. All that seems so far away now as most of you’d probably agree, but one glimpse of that slip of paper and it all came back. That long lost post-it was a hypothetical phone conversation that I had scripted prior to calling my friend to invite her to a church activity! I was so nervous about the call that I had actually written the whole thing out: “Hello?” “Hello.” “Who is this?” “This is Corrie; is Jolene there?” “Yeah, one sec.” … “Hello?” “Hello, Jolene?” “Yes” “This is Corrie. I was wondering…” etc. WOW!! What a dork! Come to think of it, I remember I used to make a list of conversation topics before I would call my friends – because I hated awkward silence!! LOL!

Look at me now! Communicating fluently with people! No cheat sheet of topics at my side. Why am I telling you this? Because God said, “‘my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Seriously, only by God’s grace have I come this far! And only He can take the credit for my miraculous transformation! ;) So, who knows what else He’s going to do with the seeming weaknesses in my life – things neither you nor I could ever think possible of this girl could be more than possible with my God! J